Definatley not a zombie
by "S"
The first thing to consider during a zombie apocalypse is "Where am I, and where should I go?". If you are at home, The first thing to do is call around the neighborhood and see who else is alive*. If more of your neighbors are alive and there are not many zombies outside, agree on a house to go to. The house should be in the center of all the survivors houses and, for bonus points, be two or more stories. If there are many zombies outside, and you live in an urban area where houses are close togather, then either build a plywood bridge to another house or jump roofs. If you have small children and a strong arm, throw them. If it is an infant, put use a baby carrier and jump. This may seem like child abuse, but it's better than having to kill them after the zombies get them. Before you leave, be sure to grab supplies, non-perishable food items, computers, phones, chargers, etc. The most important survival piece to take is weapons and armour. Yes, computer nerd, you get to put on that $4,000 suit of armour that you bought on Ebay. Just the helmet though, and maybe the breastplate, depending on what kind of zombies you're up against. If you have a life and kept your 4 g's, then a thick leather coat and a sports helmet will do, perferably a lacrosse or hockey helmet, as these have facemasks. Zombies cannot easily bite through these materials. If you live near the coastline, try to bring everyone who is with you to a boat storage facility and hijack a boat. If you have to tow the boat, be sure to have one or two people in the actual boat with shotguns or other close range weapons to make sure no zombies jump in while you are driving. Pray that fish are not zombified and that zombies cannot walk underwater. Get in the water and drive with all your supplies to an island somewhere and hold out. Depending on how many zombies exist, you may have to stay there for several years. If you are not near a coastline, get some warm clothes and head to the naturally coldest area in your location, ex- mountains, tundra, whatever. Zombies should not survive in cold, as it freezes some of their vital** functions, like their brain (if any), heart, (again, if one), and slows them down majorly. Remember, it is easy to survive as long as you have enough supplies and friends to survive with. Watch out for living raiders or bandits, as they will steal your supplies and/or kill you. Establish a shelter. Tents, plywood forts, whatever else you can find. Campers are particularily good for these situations. Avoid flying, as zombies will most likely be in any flat area that you can land on. Do whatever you need to survive. As for weapons you should bring, aim for whatever you have. If your neighbor is the biggest redneck ever, there should be plenty of shotguns, hunting rifles, and ammo. Take what you can get. Cutting or edged weapons are also good, as they can easily cleave off a head or some legs to at least cripple the zombies. Avoid longswords or hooked blades, as these can get caught in a zombies body and render themselves useless until you can pull them out. Do not attempt to hide out in a small building or store. The houses can easily be overrun and 80% of the food in stores will spoil within a few days if they are frozen or need to be kept in another condition of the sort. If you have time, raid liquor stores, as alcohol or tobacco will be worth a lot to people if a trade network or merchants ever reach your hideout. Along with liquor stores, try to get inside Army/Navy stores for armour, MRE's (Meal Ready to Eat's), and other useful tools. Homeless shelters are also good targets, as long as there are no homeless zombies inside, because of the ammount of canned food they have. Also, beware of people dressed like the military, these people could be bandits. Ask to see a military I.D unless there are many of them or they are obviously helping people. Like if there are a bunch of tanks blowing the heads off of zombies, don't waste time to ask someone, "Excuse me sir or ma'am, are you a member of the military or a bandit?" Good luck. And P.S- Zombie killing trips are not a good idea. It's called a swarm stupid. And I am definatley not a zombie trying to get people to follow this foolish plan so I can eat them. 0% chance of that. Nope.
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