www.Zarmbie.com: Resident 'not-as-evil-as-Saddam-evil'

by The Zarmbie Team
(www.zarmbie.com)

Content from www.Zarmbie.com with the authors permission.

Hugs 'N' Kisses from the Pred.

Resident Evil. It merely takes half a word to describe the trilogy. Eh? Just try to imagine someone who had only seen the film once trying to explain the story.

Well, um... there was this place that's, kinda underground, with... uh, windows, and uh big labs... with zombies and these guys go with this, err girl... and they get killed by another girl... who's a computer with lasers and they do stuff and people... err, die.

Yes, I do agree - 'WTF' indeed. I needed to watch the film around four times to understand half the stuff they were talking about. The science and the ideology was obvious enough, but the story was... words do not do justice. The 3rd Matrix film makes more sense than that movie and the whole thing can be linked backed to one, very foolish man.

Yeah. The whole film came into existence because that guy at the beginning broke that vile of the T-Virus. Am I missing something here? Was that guy in the hazard suit an important character? If he wasn't then, he is responsible for a diabolical film and a diabolical soundtrack. There aren't even that many zombies. Well, there was in Resident Evil 2. that was better. In fact it was a lot like the 28 Days and 28 Weeks Later films, 28 Days was shit and confusing yet 28 Week Later was entertaining and watch-able. Though, points for some of the really bad ass scenes in 'Resi 1. You know the bit I'm talking about, those guys in the helicopter rope down with all the swat and cops and start kicking some zombie-ass.

That's another thing. The S.T.A.R.S, 'special doody swat dudes' get metaphorically reaped by a grotesque half man/bear/pig dude with a rocket launcher and a mini gun. Not really very, sporting is it? In fact, im not sure if its even remotely related to anything zombie, except for the fact that the brute is related to Frankenstein. As a film they are all OK. You should watch them if you haven't, alas though, they are not the greatest zombie films...

Sighs from the Pred. Maybe next time ill have to write a review about something I like. Also we appear to have lied to you dear reader. As I am writing this many Wednesdays have passes without successful rambling - but remember, 77% of all statistics are made up.